I hope everyone had a nice Halloween and enjoyed their tricks and treats. Here are some pictures of our little treat.
Thank you to ChrisAnn for this adorable sleeper:.JPG)
Our little guy was the sweetest chili pepper around:
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Julian Patrick Belardo came into this world on Friday, October 2, 2009 at 5:57pm.
It was a sad week for us because Patrick's Uncle Jim had suddenly fallen ill and passed away. It was a shock to all. Uncle Jim was loved by many and will be missed greatly. We attended the sad wake services on Thursday. All day people were asking us when the baby was due and my answer was always either "two weeks ago" or "any minute now". I knew labor was just around the corner because I was contracting regularly all day and I had shown some pretty promising signs of early labor throughout the past few days.
Sure enough we were home for just a few hours when I could no longer sleep through some really hard contractions. I walked around as much as possible until the contractions were less than 5 minutes apart and lasting about a minute long. Patrick called Jessica Lawlor (our awesome midwife) around 2am. Jessica said she'd brush her teeth and head on over. She called in the rest of the team (Jessica Pierre and Lesley Franco) and Lesley was the first to arrive around 3am. At that point I was still able to hold a conversation between contractions but when they came they were powerful. I eventually took a shower to help ease the waves and my backache. It helped a lot. I would have stayed in there a lot longer but it dawned on me that we'd need the hot water for the birthing pool so I reluctantly got out. Then Jessica Lawlor arrived. By that time the rushes were strong enough for me to not know too much of what was going on around me. I zoned out and focused on my only job - to relax and let my body do its work.
I was loving labor. I don't know if I showed it from the outside but I was the happiest woman in the world to be experiencing the miracle my body was capable of. It was probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced but I didn't mind it one bit. I don't remember everything I said while I moaned and groaned my way through contractions but I do remember chanting things like, "Yeah, that's it Julian. Do what you have to" and "Come on,Baby. It's okay. I can handle it". And it was true. I could handle anything to bring my son into this world.
Soon things had progressed enough for me to get into the pool. OH MY GOSH it felt good. The warm water on my back and tummy and the weightless feeling of being submerged were like heaven. I was able to get into some nice positions to work through the rushes. My favorite was leaning over the side of the pool on my hands and knees. The midwives all did a fantastic job of massaging my back since that pain was constant. It gave me great relief. I remember looking at the water and thinking it looked like salad dressing from all the massage oil. Patrick used a measuring cup to pour water over my stomach and back, which felt good too. I know I let out some very primal sounds during my time in the pool. I remember looking up several times to see Patrick taking video of me. I haven't seen the footage yet but it should be interesting.
I was in the pool for 2-3 hours. Long enough for Patrick to think my feet were going to hurt from the wrinkles. I would have gladly stayed in for the rest of the labor but my temperature and blood pressure had gone up. We had to be sure it wasn't an infection so I got out to see if my vitals would go back to normal. Thank goodness all was back to normal soon. I labored in bed for a while with both Jessicas taking turns rubbing my back and Patrick taking care of feeding me and keeping me hydrated. Beyond all the pain I felt so good. I knew the pain was normal and I knew I was in good hands.
I was doing well for such a long time and the team was just getting ready for me to go into transition and start pushing. Then I went to the bathroom and saw some colors and chunks mixed in the amniotic fluid that weren't ideal. It was meconium and by itself everything was still fine so the midwives just kept a close eye on me. As time went on, my blood pressure and temperature started to creep up and the baby's heart rate was higher than we would have liked. During an internal exam we found out the baby's head was starting to come through but at a funny angle and that I had some cervical swelling that wasn't allowing it to happen easily. The ladies broke it to me that I should go to the hospital just in case things got worse. There was no need to panic so we made the trasition efficiently but calmly. I was disappointed but I knew that whatever my team said I needed to do would be what I needed to do.
The rest of the day could have been a blur but I was determined to keep my wits about me and to make Julian's birth a positive experience no matter what. Again, I knew I was in good hands. I could trust Jessica and her team and I had Patrick by my side every step of the way. We saw Dr. Garfinkle, the doctor Jessica works with. He was very nice and understanding that we had just had a change in plans. He made the transition a smooth one. He explained the situation and our options. I was very happy to see that he and Jessica were on the same page. He never, at any time, made me feel like I wasn't still in charge of my own body and my baby's birth.
My temperature and blood pressure were still elevated but the baby's heart rate was normal so that was an excellent sign that we could ride things out naturally. I still had some pretty bad cervical swelling which put me in danger of tearing my cervix (something that would have been worse than any episiotomy or perineal tear). I looked at Jessica and asked what she thought we should do. She said our best bet to allow the swelling to go down so I could push my baby out naturally would be to get an epidural to relax and allow pitocin to do the work for the contractions. Epidural and pitocin were two words I've avoided my entire pregnancy and never, ever thought they'd be part of my birth story. However, what Jessica said made sense. We discussed the idea of me just pushing him out right then and there and what the ramifications were. We also discussed the odds that I would need a c-section after trying the pitocin. Weighing all options and with Patrick's help, we decided to go for the epidural and pitocin. I continued to contract for the following two hours only now I didn't feel it. I was examined again after two hours and I hadn't dilated at all. My blood pressure and temperature were still high and my blood work had come back with indications of an infection. The doctor and midwives were gently rolling around the idea of a c-section (even though I already knew that would be the next course of action) so I said let's do it. It was the absolute last thing that I wanted but I certainly didn't want some of the problems associated with delivering in the state I was in.
So there I was. Getting prepped for a c-section. My parents showed up just in time to see me before I went to the O.R. We worked out all the details for the post-operative/recovery period so that Julian would never be without me or Patrick. I got a massive dose of the epidural that made me extremely cold. I was wheeled into the O.R. and put on the operating table in a crucifix position. I was shivering so bad I couldn't keep my arms down. Then I said I was going to throw up just in time to have the anesthesiologist there to guide my head to the side into a bed pan. I felt much better after vomiting. I was ready to meet my baby!
Patrick was at my side the entire time offering encouraging words. I felt some tugging as the doctor told me everything that was happening. Before I knew it Julian was out and Patrick was telling me he's beautiful. We heard Julian cry for the first time and Patrick got to be with him while he was getting wiped down and suctioned. Then both my men were by the side of my head. I got to kiss Jules and Patrick before they left to have Julian's vitals checked and for me to be stitched up. It took quite a while for my placenta to release but once it had I was put back together in no time and wheeled to recovery.
Julian couldn't be with me in recovery because of some kind of security system issue the hospital was having while construction was going on. So Patrick stayed in the nursery and my dad came to be with me in recovery. After I left recovery I had the best greeting of my parents, in-laws and midwife team waiting around the final corner by the nursery. They all clapped for me and gave me hugs. Then I saw Patrick waving from the nursery with Julian by his side. It was the greatest sight! A nurse told me to go get settled and they'd bring Julian down in a bit. I just remember saying I'm already settled so bring him down right behind me. Sure enough, by the time I was in my bed Patrick was wheeling him into the room. I held him for a few minutes but then passed him off to the grandparents because they were being kicked out for it being past visiting hours. Once it was just the three of us we stripped Jules down to his diaper and I took down the front of my gown so we could have skin on skin bonding contact. I was able to start nursing immediately, which made me very happy.
Julian's birth was the most beautiful event of my life. It didn't play out exactly as I had hoped but I always knew there was a chance it wouldn't. At the same time, I felt confident throughout my entire pregnancy that if at any time it became unsafe to birth at home my midwife would know what to do before the baby or I were in any danger. What happened during my labor would have happened even if I had started out in a hospital. I am very lucky to have labored at home for so long. As far as I am concerned I still had a home birth. Just one that ended with a hospital delivery. Most of the time when I hear stories of women who have had c-sections I feel bad for those women because they were not in charge of their birth story and most of the time the surgery could have been prevented. I can confidently say in my case that I remained in charge of my body and my baby and all decisions affecting us. I was never put on a medicalized slippery slope leading to unnecessary surgery. I had a wonderful experience and my baby had a beautiful birth. I wouldn't change a thing. October 2, 2009 was the happiest day of my life.
Many people think that the food industry is out to get us by making organic food cost so much more than conventional food. However, they are really out to get us by making conventional food cost so much less than organic.
Food shouldn't be so cheap in the first place. We are spoiled rotten by high-yield genetically modified crops and over fertilized produce that can be shipped from around the world at our beck and call.
The following article is a must read for anyone who cares about their health and pocketbook:
Getting Real About the High Price of Cheap Food
As you know, we are having our son via homebirth attended by a midwife. Actually, we will have three midwives with us. We are very lucky.
We have an inflatable kiddie pool that I plan to give birth in so that Julian will enter the world in a very gentle, loving manner. We did a practice run last night with the pool. It was fun. Sort of like having a hot tub in the middle of our living room, which I don't think is such a bad idea..JPG)
We are SO excited to be meeting our little guy soon. I am 37 weeks pregnant today, which means I'm officially full term and can safely go into labor without intervention. It's up to Jules when he'll make his appearance. It could be anytime between now and September 30th.
So what's the controversy? Well, I really don't know. We are very happy and proud of our decision to have a homebirth. We believe we are doing what is best for us and our son and we know it is safe. However, there are a lot of people out there who don't believe it is safe and insist on telling us so. What really gets under my skin is that these people who are so quick to judge our choices have no idea what they are talking about. It's always an emotional conversation instead of an intellectual one. I cannot tell you how many times we've heard, "I had to have a c-section because the cord was wrapped around my baby's neck" or "I had to have a c-section because my baby just wouldn't come out on his own".
So let's address those two very common situations. Many, actually most, babies are born with the umbilical cord wrapped around their neck. Think about it. If you were attached to a long hose and you were swimming around in a small pool for almost ten months, you'd probably get tangled a bit, too. But isn't this dangerous? Won't the baby choke and die? No. As the baby's head emerges our midwife will be watching and if she sees or feels the cord around his neck she will simply loop it off his head. If, by rare chance, the cord is too tight to loop it off, she will cut it. The umbilical cord is very, very long. It isn't going to all of a sudden choke the baby simply because it is wrapped around him. There would have to be some kind of very rare oddball occurance for anything severe to happen. I don't know why doctors and nurses love to tell new moms that their baby "had the cord around his neck so thank god you were here in the hospital so this doctor could save his life".
The next scenario, which is also very common is that the baby supposedly just wouldn't come out on his own so "I had to have an emergency c-section". This usually includes the scary statement, "his heart rate dropped". Okay, this one really annoys me because it is so common yet so easy to avoid. Let's set the scene: You go into labor and are really excited. Your hospital bag has been packed for weeks and hubby has had the car seat installed for the baby's first car ride home. You call your doctor and arrange to go straight to the hospital. You get there, fill out a ton of paperwork and wait for a labor room. Once there, you are immediately told to strip down, put on the lovely hospital gown and get into bed. You are strapped to a fetal heart monitor and given an IV to keep you hydrated since you won't be allowed to eat or drink anything until after the baby comes (unless you're lucky and you get ice chips). You sit in bed excitedly waiting for your baby to come. As hours pass by you may contract more and you'll most likely be internally examined a handful of times and told you've dilated x centimeters. Eventually when it seems things are going a lot slower than you thought they would, the doctor or nurse comes in to tell you they're going to break your water to speed things up. When that doesn't do the trick, they decide to give you something to help more. This is pitocin. So the pitocin speeds things up by bringing on "artificial" contractions that are harder and stronger than the natural ones you were having a little while ago. You're in a lot of pain so the nurse sympathetically asks if you want some pain relief. Of course you want it so you get an epidural. So there you are lying on the bed, gravity working against you, you can't feel a thing while the fake hormones you were injected with give you larger than life contractions and you've had more people look in your hoo-ha than you care to admit. Do you think your baby is enjoying this? No. All this craziness puts a lot of pressure on him physically and emotionally. His heart rate starts to drop. The monitor you're hooked up to spits out a paper with squiggly lines that the doctor doesn't seem to approve of. He tells you that since the baby doesn't want to come out on his own and he's in distress you'll need an emergency c-section. So off you go to have major surgery you never intended to have but thank god you were in the hospital for the doctor to save your life. Good thing you didn't decide to have a homebirth like that crazy girl, Beth. She doesn't know what she's getting herself into.
I hope this post reaches someone who will read it and realize these situations are avoidable. I'm not a doctor nor am I any kind of health professional. I don't claim to know everything but I do know a lot because since I found out I was pregnant I've read everything I could get my hands on and have talked to people about their personal experiences. I hope to make a difference by helping people to realize that things aren't always as they seem in the medical field. Don't take my word for it, though. Do your own research. But please, please do not tell me that what I'm doing is risky for me or my baby because I have done the research and you have not.
Kimberly-Clark is going green but not until the end of 2011 so don't run out to buy any Kleenex or Cottonelle products just yet. The paper goods giant is planning to obtain all the wood pulp for its many products from sustainable resources. Hopefully this means they will stop chopping down the Boreal Forest.
In other news my pregnancy is flying by. I have just over 5 weeks left until my estimated due date which means I could have a baby anywhere from 2-7 weeks from now! Crazy!
We've been busy trying to get the house in order for our bundle of joy. So much to do, so little time. I can't do much these days and Patrick doesn't have a lot of time where he isn't working so it's been a slow process but we're getting there. We do a little bit each day. On the agenda today is moving a cabinet and a bookshelf out of the office/baby's room and into other areas of the house. I have to say I really love and adore my husband for all his hard work.
I'm excited to report that I have a maternity photo shoot scheduled with my lovely friend (and talented photographer), Laurie, this Friday and we already have Julian's first photo shoot scheduled with New Mommy Rant Danielle's talented husband, Peter from Peter Miller Photography. I feel a sense of accomplishment just having these events on the calendar.
I'm getting bigger and more cumbersome each day. I've also been having carpal tunnel symptoms worse than I've ever experienced. I've had carpal tunnel syndrome since high school from playing flute but it was never so bad that it actually stopped me from doing anything if I was willing to work through the pain. Little did I know that it is very common in late pregnancy. It hit me hard a couple weeks ago when I woke up with pain and numbness in my right hand. I shook my hand around for about 15 minutes trying to get the circulation going but it didn't work. I freaked out! I woke Patrick up crying that I thought my hand was going to be amputated. Fast forward 2 weeks and I wake up every morning with similar symptoms that sometimes don't go away throughout the day. My left hand is almost always numb and the pain has moved up into my arms as well as my hands. I'm still able to type but I had to stop crocheting, which was sad. I never got to make Jules a blanket. I wanted to make him a hat, too but that won't happen until after he's born. I hear it takes a few months after the birth for carpal tunnel symptoms to go away. Oh well. As I say with everything else, if this is the price I have to pay to have my baby it's well worth it.
I'll try to be better about blogging at least until Julian is here but they will most likely all be pregnancy/baby related. :)
Until then....
Go to Cloth Diaper Blog for the following giveaway contest:
This week’s giveaway is for ONE (1) winner and he/she will receive a few goodies:
(1) Box of Tiny Bubbles Diaper Detergent - Dye & Fragrance Free, Residue Free, Completely Biodegradable and COMPLETELY (no half-way here) Phosphate-Free! You won’t find any optical brighteners or fillers in this very gentle diaper detergent. This ultra-concentraged High Efficiency (HE) detergent can wash 30 diaper loads in a top loader and 60 (you read right!) in a HE front loading machine! All packaging is made from recyclable materials!
(1) Gro Baby One Size Diaper - Recognized for reducing diaper waste and cost, the Gro Baby Diaper GROWS with your baby to fit children from infancy to toddlerhood.
(1) Natural Colored Washable Diaper Wetbag - Water resistant wetbag closes with a drawstring and toggle. It is approximately 12″ tall and 12″ wide and packs up easily with an elastic cord and gusset
